while we wait is a series of images made on my phone during the 84 days that my mum was in hospital before she died. They are photos made at various points on the 5-minute journey between our house and my mum’s hospital bed. Making the photos at the time felt inevitable - it provided some sort of grounding, and was an attempt to tether myself to a world that didn't make very much sense then.

For the majority of the time that my mum was in hospital, while there was the constant up and down of her symptoms, there was always the belief that she was coming home. So these photos were never meant to be a record of her illness or her death - they were only ever a way to hold on to seeing the world while I couldn't see it clearly myself.

84 days is a photobook I later made from a selection of the images from while we wait.

Gloves, apron and mask became the uniform for my mum's room, the barriers we had to maintain to minimise the chance of her picking up an infection in her immunocompromised state.

King's College Hospital, London, 2019

I got into the habit of looking up and around on my short walk between home and my mum's hospital bed, noticing the mundane and the constant.

King's College Hospital, London, 2019

I often stayed at the hospital until after the changeover to the night shift, walking home as night fell and once my mum was asleep.

Camberwell, London, 2019

The path at the entrance to our building, a necessary pause each time I got home as I took out my key and often the spot where I'd take my first look around at the day before heading up to the hospital.

Camberwell, London, 2019

The corridor outside my mum's room, early morning after a night spent in the chair beside her bed. Heading home to change and sleep a few hours, not realising that would be the last time I would see my mum alive.

King's College Hospital, London, 2019

An old seat on the way out of the hospital, another constant, with so many stories implied by the cracks in its covering.

King's College Hospital, London,

One of the earliest images in the set, a discarded doll's head at the edge of the crossing nearest our house, the sign an imperative or maybe just an invitation.

Camberwell, London, 2019

Getting my mum to drink enough was a regular struggle, with a record and celebration of every milliletre she consumed.


King's College Hospital, London, 2019

A note one one of the last few days, when we hadn't yet realised death was so close, so we were still trying to encourage my mum to eat.  The nursing staff on the ward were incredible, so supportive.


King's College Hospital, London, 2019

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